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Co-parenting with an ex may not be easy, especially if the relationship ended due to infidelity or some other form of betrayal. When you share a child with a partner, you are expected to prioritize your child’s welfare over any lingering feelings of resentment you may have for your ex. Unfortunately, that’s not easy, and your ex may feel the same. If they try to turn your kids against you, you need to act. Understanding parental alienation laws in California is important.
If you find yourself trying to prove parental alienation, it may be wise for you to hire a child custody lawyer for help. A California child custody attorney can be your greatest asset in a situation like this. Child custody cases can easily become complicated, and parental alienation cases can be even harder to navigate alone. James Carroll recognizes the difficulties ahead of you. He and his team can bring years of family law experience to your case.
What Is Parental Alienation?
Parental alienation occurs when one parent psychologically manipulates their children into ignoring, disrespecting, or even hating their other parent. It’s a recognized form of child emotional abuse that the California family court sees as severely damaging to a child’s developing mind and sense of trust.
Proving Parental Alienation in California
Proving parental alienation can be a difficult endeavor. Your ex may deny any accusation you make. California’s family code requires the court to consider which parent is more likely to foster a respectful, continuing relationship with the other, and parental alienation is a deliberate violation of this code. Additionally, if the alienating parent forces litigation, the court can order them to pay the other parent’s legal fees. There’s a lot to consider.
California has a consistently low marriage rate of only 5.5 per 1,000 people, largely due to a high cost of living and the state’s community property laws in the event of divorce. Child custody is often one of the most contentious parts of a divorce. If both parents were never married, custody can still be an aggressive battle for parental supremacy. It’s vital that you never stoop to your ex’s level and let them show their true colors while you document.
While proving parental alienation can be hard, it’s not impossible. Make sure you document every interaction in which you suspect your ex is trying to turn your children against you. Here are some steps you can take to prove that your ex is engaging in parental alienation in an attempt to undermine your role as a parent:
- Document a pattern. The more documentation you have, the easier it can be to prove your case. The courts rarely act on a single isolated incident. They need to see an ongoing pattern. Keep a detailed log of every time that your scheduled visitation is denied, cut short, or interfered with, and always note the excuse that was given. Save any records that show your ex blocking or ignoring phone calls or refusing to pass along gifts and cards.
- Preserve all communications. The strongest evidence you gather can end up being text messages and emails, as they can show clear intent to alienate. Keep every text, voicemail, email, and social media post where your ex disparages you or publicly insults you. Be sure to keep backups of everything in case your ex tries to delete the evidence.
- Secure witness testimony. In cases of parental alienation, it can often become a he said- she said situation if you don’t have the right kind of evidence. Third-party witness testimony can be invaluable to your case, as it can show that the pattern is visible to outsiders. Teachers, coaches, counselors, and other school personnel can testify to any changes in your child’s academic performance since the breakup.
FAQs
How Can I Prove Parental Alienation in California?
The most reliable way to prove parental alienation in California is by establishing an irrefutable pattern of disrespectful behavior and intentional interference that your ex is engaging in. You can never have too much evidence in a case like this. Speak to any teachers, neighbors, and family friends who may have witnessed your ex disparaging you to your children. Save all communications that demonstrate the pattern. Above all, speak to a lawyer.
Do Judges Take Parental Alienation Seriously in California?
Yes, judges in California take parental alienation very seriously. The family court views parental alienation as a form of emotional abuse and a genuine threat to the child’s well-being. Since alienation isn’t easily proven, it’s up to you to build a solid case that proves a pattern. If you can prove parental alienation, you may be able to modify the custody arrangement in your favor. Gather evidence and be patient.
What Are the Five Stages of Parental Alienation?
The five stages of parental alienation are:
- Poisoning the well. Your ex repeatedly portrays you as unreliable or unloving.
- Limiting contact. Your ex restricts your communication with your child.
- Erasing the parent. Your ex works to replace you in the child’s mind.
- Betraying trust. Your ex encourages your child to see you as an enemy.
- Undermining authority. Your ex starts stripping your authority and decision-making power.
Can You Call CPS for Parental Alienation in California?
No, you cannot call Child Protective Services (CPS) to address parental alienation in California. CPS focuses on investigating situations of physical abuse, neglect, and unsafe living conditions. They generally don’t get involved in emotional or psychological conflicts until they turn into clear-cut abuse. Calling CPS for parental alienation may only hurt your case. Instead, gradually build your case and utilize the family court system to do this right.
Be Sure to Hire a Child Custody Lawyer
Discovering that your ex is actively trying to poison your child against you can be heartbreaking and enraging. It’s understandable to want to march to your ex’s house and threaten them with legal action, but that may only make things worse for you. You should contact a lawyer and start building a strong case against your ex that proves a pattern. At Carroll Law Office, we can give you a chance to seek a modified custody arrangement. Contact us to speak with a team member.
